.
If you feel as if you’re going to explode in anger, change your physical responses into harmless physical activity. Breathe deeply, run a mile, swing a tennis racket. Later, return to your anger and deal with it peacefully and productively.
Productive*
利用你的怒氣從事體力勞動:鋸鋸木頭,拖拖地板...讓你的家更舒服。
Venting your anger in a controlled way to a sympathetic listener can bring temporary relief. But venting in itself won’t solve the underlying problems that are triggering your anger. Search for those problems and deal with them.
Venting*
洩完了洪就應該去尋找源頭,一勞永逸地剷除禍根。
When you’re angry at others, tell them directly what disturbs you and why. Don’t shame, blame, attack, ridicule, lecture, interpret or analyze their behavior. Use “I” statements. Be specific in your requests.
Directly*
不要冀望別人會讀心術,坦然說出你內心的感受;遮遮掩掩往往是在煽風點火。
When you’re expressing your anger to others, you don’t need to convince them that your position is right. Listen with empathy to their point of view. Allow them to feel angry too (without blaming yourself for their anger). And then together try to arrive at a creative solution that meets the needs of both of you.
Empathy*
將心比心,其樂融融;一意孤行,處處碰壁。
Expressing anger may be difficult if you were taught to soothe over conflicts or to defer to others’ feelings. Recognize when these old lessons have you stuffing your anger. Pleasing others at your own expense is not kind or peaceful. It’s violence to your own psyche.
Express*
寬容並非忍耐;自由地表達出情感,你的心才能空出來包容一切。
There will be times when expressing your anger will be extremely difficult and painful. The outcome may be uncertain; you may be risking great change in your relationship. But just as God gives you anger to protect yourself, God provides courage to take the action your anger demands. Your courage is within you; ask God to help you find it.
Courage*
委屈自己並不能獲得真愛,你得有勇氣展現自己真實的情感。
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